Has Your Bar Been Lowered?

May 20, 2015


Has someone lowered the bar on you?  What? Lowered the bar?  Don’t people usually raise the bar and expect too much of you?  Yes.  They do.  But what happens when they lower the bar?  What happens to your ego when other people don’t think you can do something, or that you’re capable of unethical actions, or that you won’t amount to much? That can be just as devastating as when they expect too much.


Well, chin up buttercup!  There are two things to remember.  One…it’s none of your business what other people think of you.  That is their opinion and their business based on their own life situations and experiences.  It has nothing to do with you!  Two….you have nothing to try and live up to!  Think about it.  If nothing is expected out of you or from you, or if they think you are capable of unethical actions then the only place you have to go is up!  How can you go wrong when you’re always expected to go wrong?


The magic lies in not falling into their trap.  It’s easy for the ego to step in and say hey I’m better than that!  How dare they judge me poorly!  Then you catch yourself thinking maybe they are right.  Maybe I’m not very good.  Maybe they see something that I don’t.  Maybe I am just a mess up and won’t amount to much.  But hold your horses, it’s a trap!  A trap devised by your hurt ego and the fearful ego of others.  Don’t fall into it.  It’s not real.  You know your self worth. 


The growth lies in trying to learn from the experience.  What is it trying to teach you?  That other people can be mean and hurtful?  Perhaps.  But also take a look at yourself.  Why is it triggering you?  Is there some truth to it that is striking a nerve and you know you can do better?  Maybe you’ve been holding back and now is the time to unleash your great potential that is just waiting to burst out!  Or maybe there is no truth to it and it’s time to develop compassion and understanding for the fear that lives in the other person. 


So if someone has lowered the bar on you it’s a blessing.  Take that opportunity to grow and raise your own bar!  Nobody has control over it but you.  After all, happiness is an inside job.  

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